Nur Farhanah
21
Preschool Teacher


♥ E200 or RAV4 in red
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♥ stories of survival PART II

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August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 December 2008 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 January 2010

i reached school early this morning with a cup of teh and toasted roti with kaya.
feeling upbeat, finally getting to see my children after a long weekend...

uncle atique, at the gate said "farhanah you never come ah yesterday? you win $500 lucky draw. first prize."
i heard first prize, but im lost in between cause of his slang.
then i said "really?" and walked in.
"FARHANAH!!! 500 DOLLARS!!! why you didnt come!!!" screeched miss may.
okay, so the story goes...

on 9th january, saturday, there's a family day event at the temple.
the childcare im working with is under this temple organization or something.
so its like a carnival where you have lots of stalls with food.
and free flow of ice cream and what nots.
but i didnt turn up.
due to some technical fault.
which i dont want to elaborate on.
ya, then at the end of it, there's a lucky draw.
and i won first prize. $500. CASH.
but i wasnt there la. so too bad. my fault what kan.

BUT. today, when i went to school, from 9.10 am, everybody was like so mad la sia.
the uncles, the aunties, the bus drivers, the cooks, the teachers and everyone said:
"haiyo! see la! $500 dont want so have to come back and work right."
"$500 eh, mine only $50!"
"you have too much money is it ah girl? $500 also dont want."
"why didnt you come! first prize you know!"
"FARHANAH~ *and she showed me her palm of five fingers*"
"wei se mo ni mei you lai! wu bai kuai leh!"
"wo men den hen jui leh. dou mei you na dao wu bai kuai!"

okay people, please stop it.
you should all have just kept it from me right.
so mean! :(
i ady felt bad not going and this commotion made me feel worse la.
THANK YOU SO MUCH LA EH.
but still, i love you all la k.
*smiles.

good night everyone.
but seriously, my hands were itchy on that morning.
(my mother always said that it meant you are gonna get money.)
and my eyes were twitching since friday.
(and i thought something bad was gonna happen sia, so negative.)
why...................
k, haha. sleep!

guess who's back.
nana's back back back.
back to blog blog blog.

haha. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
finally eh, im here to update.
dah 2010 pon.

sooo, d's already back from taiwan anyways.
and i've been working for like 3 months now.
and the childcare centre's year end concert and emcee-ing pon dah over.

i've already enrolled myself in SEED institute.
currently taking an accelerated diploma in ECE.
love, love, LOVE SCHOOL LA!

so today, i met shawn, gavin and wei xuan.
for a countdown lepak session.
didnt get to watch fireworks la. just abit2 jek.kene block by trees. so cock.

but still, i had lots of laughs today.
like seriously, im a damn funny person.
haha. if you treat me good that is.

i was so high i fell flat onto my onion egg prata during supper.
haha.
just kidding.

k, enough of crap. i should go to bed like now.
tmr need to do the laundry and my assignments.....
boohoo. 8th jan deadline. happy new year la eh nana.

then i have a colleague's wedding to attend tmr at 5pm.
going to meet my pregnant colleague, ms radhiah first and then go together.
love her seh. funny woman. totally mrepek.

k la, till next time.
<3 nur farhanah.
1st post of 2010.

yeay! d called me this morning when i was on my way to work. :D
i wanted to bounce up and down, but later ppl thought i giler. hur.
then we chat2 for bout 5 mins jek. but he said he'll call again.

how time flies, i've been working in this new school for a month already!
this school is super cool.
its so huge compared to the previous school.

it has 2 storeys with a music room, art room and gym room.
toddler and nursery are on the 1st storey.
k1, k2 are on 2nd storey.

im handling k1 now and its much tougher, i must say.
but i still have lots of fun @ work.
i love them as much as my toddlers.

oh2, and the previous school's water play was just standing up and playing with water.
whereas over here, the children wear swimming costumes and really play in the water!
its like a huge bath tub and they even have a mini slide.

i wish i could join in with them, and have a splashing good time.
on mondays, there's art class. tuesdays, ballet/ gymnastic class.
wednesdays, wushu class and thursdays, speech and drama class.

so cool right! and know what, they have air cons in the classrooms.
so shiok ah, i also fall2 asleep seh during naptime.
oops! shhhhhhh.......

i've been asked to teach 5 pupils a rap to perform on the concert night.
so stress! but we had a good time and lots of laughs.
they were really fast at learning their lines and im so proud of them.

well done, efani, ray, chern yu, joel, minqi!
next, i have to draft a speech for myself,
as i will be the emcee for the night. RAR!

im happy i am still able to cope with all the stress.
id rather be here than there cleaning tables and getting pushed around.
i love this place and hope i will get to stay for long.

tomorrow i'll be going to SEED Institute for a preview session.
on Diploma in Early Childhood Care and Education - Teaching.
yeay2. fuck, regret taking that electronics and computer engineering dip.

but nevermind, as long as i continue to work hard, i know i can still go far.
today, i signed up for 2 savings plan.
so every month i have to put aside some money for that and start using money wisely.

i wanna get that dip and then go on to do my degree.
then i wanna buy a motor and a car and a house and a.......
hahaha, banyak nye nak beli!

its 1am now. id better climb my mountain and continue to dream.
d, i'll be waiting for your call.
i love you, take good care!

oh ya, the iTOUCH right d, i create account ady. alot of games ady.
scratch2 also alot ady. you know why? cause i touch2 la. haha. k lame. sorry!
so tmr after the preview session i meeting kelvin, the health promo board guy.

he bringing me to funan to accompany me buy all that stuff.
i choose the colour k d?
red k? heeeeeee. thank you d.

okay, night dear. *cuddles!
lots of love,
nana*

its been long since i last bitched slap someone.
and thats just what im gonna do now.


bitch no 1;

i hate you.
to the core.

i hate when ppl ask me questions about you.
and i hate ppl asking me those questions too.

if you dont wanna puase, your fucking problem.
you die, you answer to god.

and if for some reason you wanna know who and who and who puase,
call and ask for yourself in future. thanks.

stop all your membebelness at me.
why should i be the one who get all of that shit?

i had enough of you ppl shitting on me.
am i to hold such responsibilities?

you are the one who should have been dead.
life is so unfair at times.


bitch no 2;

stop asking me for money.
im not your fucking atm.

you've got a job.
so start saving your ass up.

i need the money to further upgrade myself in future.
why should i let you have half my pay?

grow up and live a life.
i have my own life to live too.

not that im being biase to bitch no 3,
but i dont feel like you deserve it. sorry.


bitch no 3;

i love you so much that im getting sick of it.
if it still doesnt work out, im gonna raise that white flag.

money, money, money.
i feel like all you want is money.

am i second to money?
or third or fourth? maybe even fifth.

if the only issue we're ever gonna talk about is bills and such,
we wont get to go too far.

thats a pity.
years we've been through, down the drain.

i would pay for your insurance to save your motor.
and i mean it. dengan ikhlas hati.

but you would rather use a motor that belongs to your few months old friend,
than the money of your 3 years gf.

i see where its going.
i see where i stand now.

i take the blame for everything.
e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

like its always my fault i dont have a place in mind to go.
and when i have, its already closed.

like what the fuck?
i knew i wont be able to make it in time.

i thought we were just gonna lepak thats why i went over.
so why pick me up at the traffic light?

and why do you have to blame me of shitty stuff that i have nothing to do with?
its not my fucking fault there is no lot for you to park at geylang.

and i dont normally go buy baju raye myself.
my mother does the shopping with me.

she's not here anymore, i dont have anyone to teman me.
i hate to do these things alone.

i hate it.
i HATE it.

why should i be crying?
crying all by myself all the time?




i had a wonderful day today.
met up with shawn, gavin and leonard for movie.
it was a fucking hilarious show.

and some retarded asshole's laughter kinda irritated me a little.
but it was still a funny movie.
i love you, beth cooper.

then i shopped with l while s and g went to the it fair @ suntec.
looked around for that charles and keith heels i fell head over heels with.
but then again, no size 34 available.

i was crushed.
i really3 love that pair of heels.
i want it so badly.

since i couldnt get that, i turned to the nautica polo tee.
but s said it was too expensive for a polo t.
so i decided to walk away.

i didnt get anything for myself today.
but i had sushi for dinner. <3
spicy salmon........ *drools.



the night before, i went geylang with syahmi.
we had a hell of a ride.
as if we both just touchdown to singapore from papua new guinea or somewhere.

we couldnt find the bazaar.
it was damn funny.
and lame.

i didnt get to find the kebaye that i fell in love with at civic centre in woodlands.
so i didnt buy any baju raye.
but i bought dendeng, char kway fish, honey chicken wings and an inai book.

its got lots of drawings inside. damn cool.
but a waste of my $5.
i can just go online to search for images; which is what ive been doing all this time. haha.

then he sent me home.
his u turn is horrible.
and the corner barings cant beat that of a motorcycle.

when on a bike, i love the wind in my face.
the stares on the road.
and the heart stopping corner barings.



its 1.39am now.
guess i'll be stopping round here.
for those who have been terased by my words, im sorry.


to bitch no 3:
i just want you to know how much i love you.
and since you have a laser mouth, i might as well develop one myself.
i will love you, till the ends of time.


and to my dearest mother,
happy 50th birthday.
you would have been half a century old.

yes, i understand that Allah loves you more than all of us.
hope you are fine over there.
you will always remain in my heart, every single day mummy. i love you.

night everyone.
a week left to raye.
will mintak maaf then.

i make mistakes over and over again.
people learn from their mistakes.
but im one of those fools who repeat them.

wish i could turn back time sometimes.
but i know its gonna happen again another time.
what have i done this time?

im starting my new job next monday, 14th sept.
a day after my mother's birthday.
how i wish she could have stayed.

its pretty much the same things i will be doing.
as a teacher for the toddler age group.
which to me is the super fun group. :)

chatted with cik mah for awhile on the phone.
i was close to tears.
the things she said were what i know my mother would say.

she asked for my working hours.
i told her it should be 9 to 5 or 6.
she thought i would have to start at 7, and was damn sure i wouldnt make it on time.

haha.
she sure knows me well enough.
i love you cik mah.

she told me to pakai smart2. jangan slekeh2, hair sikat betol2, jangan panjang2 macam hantu.
and we joke2, like as if i were some professional ady.
and we berangan2, as usual.

then i say for what seh, just preschool teacher jek.
but still, its the impression we leave to the principal and parents thats important.
if wanna be someone important must look important too. chey. mrepek.

really anxious to be starting on my new job.
finally finished my poly.
i feel like a butterfly breaking out of its cocoon.

okay la, very tired today.
will be stopping here to get some rest.
till then, lots of love.

its the first day of fasting today.
to all muslim people in the world,
selamat berpuase.

i woke up at 430am today, excited.
wanted to cook rice and goreng telor.
but fried rice instead.
with ikan bilis, chicken franks, and egg.

my bro, ungrateful, as usual, said it was too salty.
and he said the milo i made was too sweet.
*shrugs.
nothing i do seem right i guess.

i went back to sleep and woke at 12+ again feeling excited.
i asked uncle alvin to drill for me my racks last night and spent hours kemasing my room.
its still messy though, still upgrading.
but i couldnt wait to show it to you.

im reading an amazing book titled silent sisters.
and right now, i feel like im in Jenny's shoes.
hooked, on Keith who is an abuser but still she finds it so hard to leave him.
he is the drug she is addicted to.

on other days, i feel like Kim, Jenny's younger sister.
happy, with a man who she loves and who dotes on her.
a sweet couple deeply in love.
so much like in a fairytale.

today, i experienced a feeling i thought i never would have to feel again.
it was extreme pain and disappointment.
i've often thought of resigning to fate.
but still, i chose to follow my heart.

its difficult to explain, the stupid things i do, stupid choices i make.
time and time again, achieving nothing but sadness.
i feel lonely.
jaded.

its 6:53pm now.
almost time to break fast,
selamat berbuke everyone.

previously, on nana break..

i went on a battle, that explains my disappearance.
a battle for control of the sanity.
1 entire month; 30 years long days.
it was a tough one.

but im much better now.
and i've learnt to love myself more.
thank you.
for everything.

it's 10:26pm now, and i'll be heading to bed soon.
working tomorrow. yeay!
i regret tendering my resignation.
will be working till end of this month. *sigh.

i cant imagine what my last day of work will be like.
i think im going to cry when i hug those little people goodbye.
im going partybag shopping next week.
a little something for them, and i'll get bright smiles in return.

so i've sent out quite a bit of job applications.
but only got back a few calls such as:
interior designer @ IMM. $800. wtf, so little la.
and supervisor @ ntuc havent go for interview.

if i cant get a job, i'll just continue with my card making business.
but i need to reach out to more people.
please, share the love with all your friends.
http://handmadegiftcards.blogspot.com

i've came up with future plans for this mini business.
and i hope it can come true.
because i love doing what i do.
and i dont want to give my dream up.

okay la, i think i have to go to sleep now.
and continue dreaming.
day-dreamer, night-dreamer, all day dreamer.
if there's a position as a dreamer, i'll be the best candidate.

k la, slamat malam you all.
i love you d.
*cuddles.
:)